He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize