thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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