We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
