i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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