Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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