he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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