Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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