but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
