hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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