what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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