you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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