Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
