I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
