Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
