yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
