Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
