There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He felt like a one man threesome
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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