we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
