Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
