Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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