you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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