You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
There's even glitter on my cock...
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