i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
