so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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