Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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