How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
