I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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