A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
