Don't you send me to vm
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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