Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
