so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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