I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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