Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
