Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize