Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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