i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
