I am in a vortex of obligation.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
