How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It was confusing and full of hummus
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
