I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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