I'm going to jail i love you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
