Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just google imaged poop.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
