why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
