New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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