We're facebook friends in real life
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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