you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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