Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize