dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
