remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
