maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
