Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
