she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize