I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
