I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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