try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what day is it and did you see me today?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
