wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
