mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
