i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
