if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
