ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sorry about my life...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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