I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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