im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
