I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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