Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
