OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
