This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
