I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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