I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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