who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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