Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
