he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
