accomplished twins. life is a go
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
