he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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